The WC – Let’s Invest in Cows

July 13, 2022 | ± 4 minutes

New here? The WC is a random mix of useful / interesting / notable stuff that gets pumped into your inbox every Wednesday.

We’re in a recession, and my kids need to eat, so I’ve got a proposition for you:

  • Do you know a company that would be a great fit for our audience?
  • Do they have a marketing budget burning a hole in their pocket?
  • If you introduce them to us and they run a sponsorship deal with The WC, we’ll give you 10% of what they spend as a referral fee.

Last week’s most clicked link was this historic bit where David Letterman told Bill Gates the internet was a stupid f*cking idea. Take a look if you missed it.

Let’s go!

What’s the best cancer to get?

There were an estimated 18.1 million cancer cases around the world in 2020. Of these, 9.3 million cases were in men and 8.8 million in women.

Of those, around half of patients survive for ten years or more.

Mesothelioma is the most lethal, which perhaps explains all the exploitative adverts from years ago.

Pancreatic, brain, and liver are also notoriously awful, mostly because they’re caught so late.

But what’s the best cancer to get?

Sunscreen is a waste of time.

Men, rejoice!

If you’ve got cancer in the testes, you’ve got nearly a 100% survival rate.

Women aren’t too far off, with a breast cancer survival rate of around 87%, which is nearly identical to the wage gap.

Are cows a good investment?

Cows

Google “invest in cows.” Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Or you can just click here if you’d like.

Turns out, investing in cows is a big business, and anyone can do it (except, probably, cows).

So you buy a cow, wait a while, and sell it back either when it’s ready for slaughter (sorry, cow) or about to have a calf (baby cow).

This one returns 18% over two years.

A pregnant cow gets you 10 – 14% over 12 months. It’s even got a video –

This one’s a bit vague, but it gives you between 4.6% and 9.8% annualized returns.

Or you can buy a share of a herd and achieve 14.37% over twelve months with a 99% guarantee.

But Agridme is my favorite. They guarantee 15% to 20% returns on your cow investment. We’re actually going to do some due diligence on this one.

What did things look like 14B years ago?

It’s like a photo of me before kids, really.

You’ve probably heard of the James Webb Telescope by now. It’s been all over the feeds.

But just how much better is this view of things than the trusty ol’ Hubble?

Way, way better.

Americans are more distrustful than ever

Thanks to (largely) political polarization over the last couple of decades, American confidence in major institutions is at an all-time low.

It’s gone from an average score of 48 in 1979 to a record-low of 27 this year.

Dad Joke: What’s the opposite of Congress?

The averages hide some fairly big differences by political party. For example, those who identified as Republicans have 2% confidence in the Presidency, while Democrats came in at 51%. The Church, the Supreme Court, and the police were similarly polarised along predictable axes.

But everyone agreed to hate Congress.

Perhaps most jarring is the confidence level Americans have toward television news. It’s gone from 46% in 1993 to just 11% today.

Airbags as a service

The interwebs came alive this week when reports emerged that BMW was going to charge their customers $18/mo to use the heated seats feature in its already very, very expensive cars.

Rest easy, though, my yuppie American friends, as this is actually only rolling out in South Korea (for now).

But this does present an awkward glimpse into the future of transport.

Automaker margins are notoriously low (around 7.5%), and some OEMs make more from financing packages than the vehicles themselves. So it’s no surprise manufacturers are exploring new revenue channels regardless of how much it may alienate customers.

Just hope your card doesn’t get declined moments before you barrel down that windy cliffside motorway.

What caught your eye this week? Respond to this email, and you might get a shoutout.

Cheers,

Wyatt

Share

Author

Wyatt Cavalier

Wyatt Cavalier

With a background in finance & intelligence analysis, Wyatt has an unhealthy obsession with finding the best blue chip investment opportunities. His previous newsletter, Fractional, resonated deeply with subscribers, bringing actionable insights and unconventional trading strategies. His rare book collection specializes in banned editions. He currently lives in Spain with his beautiful wife, three young boys, and dog Monty.

Related Posts

market check

Alts Cafe – Jul 25

Some analysts are saying we’ve hit bottom, NFTs volume is still crazy low, and it’s time for venture investors to invest in undervalued startups. Find out what’s going on in the world of alternative assets in today’s Alts Cafe.

gretzky

Alts Cafe – Jul 21

Crypto ripped over the last few days, average mortgage doubled, NFTs up 50%, and so much more. Find out more about that in today’s Alts Cafe.

elon musk

The WC – Let’s Learn about Ponzi Schemes

Last week’s most clicked link was to agridme, the cow investment vehicle that guarantees up to 20% returns (more on this inside). Today’s WC offers insights about pear-shaped Elon, cattle Ponzi schemes, Bordeaux is on fire, “special military operations” in Ukraine, and some good news.

Recently Published

Unique investment ideas worth exploring

Subscribe now to get our

Top Picks.

    Join thousands of subscribers.
    Absolutely spam-free.