Balenciaga sells tape

Hello and welcome to Alts Cafe

Highlights from the full issue:

  • Macro: US budget deficit hit $296 billion
  • Real Estate: Goldman thinks the bottom is in for CRE
  • Startups: Mental health issues across the board
  • Private Credit: Goldman’s 5-year private credit goals
  • Crypto: Bitcoin reached a new high (again)
  • NFTs: Trading volumes dropped 66% for ETH NFTs
  • Art: Theft of uninsured works
  • Vintage Autos: 10 affordable vintage convertibles
  • Coins: A creative fraudster gets caught
  • Farmland: The Mid-Atlantic is surging
  • Luxury: Balenciaga gets ridiculed (again)
  • Wine, Tequila, and Spirits: Canada capped alcohol taxes
  • Film & Music: Spotify slashed royalties
  • Precious Metals: New tax rules in Wisconsin
  • Collectibles: Buy Kobe Bryant’s ring
  • Websites: Sedo’s upcoming .AI auction

Let’s go.

Macro View

Bullish News

Bearish News

What are the odds?

Get $25 to play around with using this link.

What are we doing?

​ALTS 1​ Fund news:

We’re looking to open the fund up again in April.

Real Estate

Bullish News

Bearish News

How to invest in real estate right now:

I wonder if office-to-housing will work better in Seattle than SF.


Bullish News

Bearish News

How to invest in startups right now:

Ask your founders if they are okay… or offer a hug

Private Equity and Private Credit

Bullish News

Bearish News

How to invest in PE and Private Credit right now:

More leverage — what could go wrong?


Here’s what you need to know:

Bullish News

Bearish News

How to invest in Crypto right now:

Government tolerance for sketchy corporate activity continues to dwindle.


Bullish News

Bearish News

How to invest in NFTs right now:

Time to stop procrastinating Bitcoin NFT research.


Bullish News

I love this

Bearish News

How to invest in Artwork right now:

Breaking news: expensive things need insurance.

Vintage Autos

Bullish News

Driven by the King

Bearish News

How to invest in Vintage Autos right now:

Can I hire this UK gang to fix my Roku? I can’t change the volume from 2 feet away.

Rare Coins

Bullish News

Bearish News

How to invest in Rare Coins right now:

Wash your kilt


Bullish News

Bearish News

How to invest in Farmland right now:

Try to qualify for some FDA money.

Luxury Goods

This is a handbag. It ​costs​ $2,000.

Bullish News

Bearish News

How to invest in Luxury Goods right now:

Want a DIY Balenciaga bracelet? Go to Home Depot.

Wine, Tequila, and other Spirits

Bullish News

Bearish News

How to invest in Wine and Spirits right now:

Beer consumption hits a low, despite my best efforts.

Music and Film

Bullish News

  • Germany’s music market ​grew by 6.3%​ in 2023, reaching €2.21 billion with digital revenues up by 7.9%.
  • Spain’s recorded music industry ​reached $567 million​ in 2023, with a 15% increase in streaming subscriptions.
  • Universal Music Group’s ​policy change​ with Pandora could shift $135M in annual artist royalties.
  • The IFPI ​shut down​ nine streaming manipulation sites in Canada.
  • AEG Presents and Cárdenas Marketing Network (CMN) ​partnered​ to create a Latin touring powerhouse.

Bearish News

How to invest in Music and Film right now:

Pay attention to the European market.

Metals and Gems

Bullish News

Bearish News

How to invest in Metals and Gems right now:

500 tonnes of harmful metals, probably fine.


Bullish News

Bearish News

How to invest in Collectibles right now:

In hindsight, the Trader Joe’s mania was obvious.

Websites and Domains

Bullish News

Bearish News

How to invest in Websites and Domains right now:

Bet on .bet domains.

That’s all for this week




  • We hold BTC and ETH in our ​ALTS 1 Fund​. Ken Goldin has blocked me on Twitter.
  • There are a couple of affiliate links above. If you click them, we may get a couple of bucks.



Picture of Wyatt Cavalier

Wyatt Cavalier

With a background in finance & intelligence analysis, Wyatt has an unhealthy obsession with finding the best blue chip investment opportunities. His previous newsletter, Fractional, resonated deeply with subscribers, bringing actionable insights and unconventional trading strategies. His rare book collection specializes in banned editions. He currently lives in Spain with his beautiful wife, three young boys, and dog Monty.

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